Escape From New York (1981) – Show Notes

Intro:

Oh hi! This week’s movie is one of them Future/Past dealies. You know, where they make a film in 1981 but it takes place in 1998 but you are watching it in 2017 and you are thinking how it is going to be at least 2018 before the president builds a wall around New York. You know….one of them movies.

Also, did you ever consider: this is a movie about a one-eyed Snake being inserted into a dirty hole who is just trying to pull out before his head explodes? Dirty Carpenter is always dirty. 400%

Links:

IMDB:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082340/

WIKI:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Escape_from_New_York

TRAILER:

Twitter:

Escape From New York (1981) – Like a discoball air freshener and head light chandeliers; kind of tacky. kind of cool. oh no I’m blind.

Notes:

I’m still watching credits

Did Carpenter write/perform this music….very early 80s TV

1988 sucked! 400 Percent! That sounds like a lot!

Is this Jamie Lee Curtis talking?

They built a wall around Manhattan. Trump would love to build a wall around Manhattan.

Statue of Liberty Security Control.

One rule: You go in…You don’t come out

Twin Tower still stood!

Interesting dept of field for long shot. Matte Painting Minatures?

You have 10 seconds on your home made float. I counted like 8 seconds. What was that float made of? Propane and propane accessories?

2 in the water dead….2 confirmed….very well.

This is Remy.

LISC Liberty Island Security Control.

Chopper 8 needs ome acction.

USPF?  We got 3 guards walking a Mr. Pliskin.

So this is an underground facitory?

First you see….No Talking No Smoking Follow the Orange Line…then Jamie Lee Curtis reads it.

You have the option for termination.

Lee Van Cleef!

There’s No David 14 on the computer!

Decode: Airforce One!

Tell this to the workers!

The racist police stick.

That guy kind of looks like George W Bush

Get to the pod!

BuhBye again.gif
Scott Johnson made this

God Save Me and Watch Over You All. What a swell guy.

Kinda Looks Like Buschemi

20 Seconds….19…18…17…HHHHhaaaaaaaa

Well that was a lot of running for nothing.

Do you have me on speaker? Get me off Speaker..

“Call me snake.”

Special Forces…Texas Thunder

Pardon in the United States.

He’s not my President…President of what?

They have Steam Cars in New York?

Check out those weapons on that table.

Some of these scenes are shot with Vasoline on the cameras

Double Medi Guns to the neck.

Hehe…they can neutralize the charge with X-rays!

Those gliders are a lot louder on the inside

Camo Leotards

The happiest Cabaret with Kazoos and Pianos ever. at least Ernest is having a good time.

“Hey you don’t wanna walk around down there snake..” – Something that has never been said before.

Hey, I just realized….Snake Pliskin on has one good eye. That makes him a one eyed snake.

Hey nice boots chief…I’m walking

Ernest P. Whorl is the President?

President is easy to find. He’s in a big red egg. Unless he left the egg…in which case you are screwed.

A lot of people running around like roaches before our oblivious hero.

Black Tank Top / Camo Leotrads and Ski boots.

I like how Carpenter plays with the running animals as danger approaches. More like rats or roaches scurring

These bulding are made out of rotten timber

Snake…you busted your locater Snake…hey Snake.

Cabbie who always shows up…Moltovs!

Can’t wait to tell Eddie

The Duke of New York. Nobody meets the Duke!

This “Meet The Duke Of New York” Music is very Michael Myers Theme Music-y. Also, Carpenter.

Cabbie named Cabbie

ha! Brain’s Squeeze.

Brain lives in the New York Public Library

Poor ole Fresno Bob

“I’ll just beat it out of your squeeze.”

That one car is mostly tin foil

Disco/Chandelier Car is groovy

Broadway hates Station Wagons…why?

Broadway built some kind of road damn out of cars…they are like little Broadway beavers.

Ha…That Brain is a real pain in the ass.

throwing star to the forehead….can you die from that?

4 baddies to stand over pliskin to wait for him to wake up.

How far does that snake Tattoo go down?

Still got that briefcase on his wrist. They will chop off the presidents finger but not get the briefcase off?

That is not how you listen to a cassette tape.

She is stroking that gun

I like that they went through all the trouble of making a clock that is labeled back at the headquarters for the countdown.

new phone
Scott Johnson made me laugh with this

Booo…Snake…Booo

He crawled into the cage pretty willingly. I would crawl back out once I saw giant diaper man.

The Duke wants a snake pliskin hood ornament.

Round 1 is wooden bats.

Why did they dress the president up as a lady.

Round 2 is trash can lids and spiked bats

Big Diaper Baddie took one to the back of the head.

Brain took the president! Smart.

Where did Snake find his shirt?

I see why your car don’t work…it’s got a dude for an engine.

Everybody dies.

Graphic death for her

that was close!

Time for a shave

switchroo taperoo

THANKS! THAT WAS FUN!

Did I miss anything? Feel free to post it in the comments below!

 

Tales From The Darkside: The Movie (1990)

Intro:

Mmmm….me here today cause Cookie Monster trapped by suburban Witch? Notice cookies on floor of cage look more ‘crushed’ than ”e’ate’…look like furry blue Muppet with no functioning esophagus went to tooowwn. Me like Mick Jagger, can’t get no… can’t get no satisfaction.

Back off! Cookie Monster no taste good. How about me read you story instead. Once upon time. 4 guys sacked movie…NO! NO EAT COOKIE MONSTER! COOKIE MONSTER EAT YOU….nom nom nom…tastes like dirty heroin.

 

Links:

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100740/

Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tales_from_the_Darkside%3A_The_Movie

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9lVoUKk-8Y

Clips: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZbXA4lyCtqpWLnwZdmk8LZpSsDxS3Xo7

 

Twitter:

Tales From The Darkside (1990) – Like a mouthful of Buscemi Teeth. Hard to look at even harder to look away. Open your eyes.

Show Notes:

In order of appearance: Really? Blondie looks like a boy on a bike. ohhh…that kid get’s no credit!

What’cha got in the bag Blondie? Flowers!

Something is in the cupboard!

No Blondie…I throw the best parties!

ooooh. It’s the book of the same name of the movie we are watching!

Mmmm…cookie crumbs….Do you trap Cookie Monster? cause them cookies look more ‘crushed’ than ‘ate’…like a furry blue Muppet

Eeek! It’s a Joey Lawrence? No…Matthew

Ahh…so Debbie is a modern day witch…good show old boy. Classic Fairy Tale with a twist. Witch in the Suburbs

Settle down Debbie…let me tell you a story.

 

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talesfromthedarkside_1

 

 

Firefox (1982)

INTRO:

Oh Hi, This week’s film may hit a little too close to home. What with us on the verge of Cold War II but I’ll try to get through this with little to no seizures or joy…

Speaking of getting hit. What does it take to get punched in this movie?

Take Eastwood’s cigar. Death by face beating.

Play pocket pool while fondling Eastwood’s papers….Face punching to the death.

Russian pilot flipping on a light switch. That’s a face beating with a side of “hold the death.”

“Your papers are not in order.”

LINKS:

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083943

WIKI: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firefox_(film)

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0S7uE7l_oA

Video Game: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firefox_(video_game)

TWITTER:

Firefox (1982) – Like acting & directing your own 21 Million dollar project & blowing the entire budget on “not so special” effects & bad borscht

SHOW NOTES:

Simple title card. Firefox…left…serif

all the material that was ever made for gray sweatpants was made in 1975 or should I say it was discovered in some cave in South America.

Sweatpant Suit…only accessory…white towel…shoved into collar

Suddenly a Hairy (Harry) Eastwood appears

Trope: The ole reclusive military/special/govt agent who has removed himself from battle is located by army helicopter.

Alaska

Them running shoes is loud. Like somebody on a sound stage

Run forrest! Run! Through the Forrest.

Blow up the bridge!

Are those refuel rods in the front of those copters? They always make me think of some kind of insect sucker.

Time for some Napalm flashbacks!

Fire…fire..

His memories are grainy at best.

He was pretty old for a pilot in Nam right?

So his entire flashback was the time he got shot down and almost carried away and almost killed that poor kid…or did they napalm their rescue?

His POW Files. He was carried across a river in a bamboo cage.

Know what is a bad idea? Surprising a dude who is having flashbacks.

What a couple of pilot jerks…let up your shades

Firefox-pilots

Now we will have a British guy explain what is going on.

A Mach (mack) 5

at 0400 hours on Thursday…

wait…it’s an invisible jet with weapons driven by the mind.

We need you major…to come back

POW…Mother is Russia(n)…and fits the suit and has seizures (freezes up)

We got 3 months to train you.

Fly a plane like the devil himself.

“You are stupid Buckles.”

You will be flying the most advanced war-craft in existence…as soon as you steal it.

“Look at that face. He has 5 pounds of heroin in it?”

Desperate times call for desperate plans.

London baby!

Your Suite Will Be Bugged. You are transporting heroin.

KGB is slow to awaken…but if you wake it up…bam!

Fake mustache grooming is the only grooming i do.

Here you go American Bond…this is your radio…don’t lose it…You afraid of being captured? Here…let me tell you a story of despair and desperation.

Gee…I wonder if the black box will come into play…since we just blew it off…then made it super important.

Nice glasses…did you beat up an old lady for those?

That was tense! They even took his radio apart! Wonder if he has a face full of Heroin.

Moscow Hotel…the only hotel in Moscow. Mockba Hotel…You don’t stay at Moscow Hotel. Moscow Hotel stays at you.

Loudest watch in all of Russia

There is always a Dmitri and Victor in Russia.

This guy has a big forehead

Russians do like their street cleaning machines….at least according to movies from the 80s based on the subject.

Back alley cat in Russia is back alley cat in Russia

Trope: Silly couple walking in the dark. They are always interrupting my Cloak and Daggers.

I didn’t realize vaping was so popular during the 80s

“Never smoke another man’s cigar….get beat with a stick.

A quick sprint and wardrobe change later…and you are staying at the Waldorf

No…No…I got the squirts. No…

“Your Papers are not in order.”

Also, don’t touch Eastwood’s Papers….or get beat with a stick.

Nocturnal Sight Seeing Of Our City

They got KGB for everyone!

“Do you know how to use this? Good…don ‘t use it.”

The KGB is mighty polite

Moscow is curious.

Don’t insult me with your words! Now get out!

Apparently, you can’t beat it out of him. Unless you mean the life. “I didn’t kill him…you pressed me!” Maybe he is dead

That computer was pretty quick on the photo comparison.

We are going to use fire to destroy the Firefox.

Things have gone wrong. So our plan has changed from steal the Firefox to steal the backup Firefox.

“Big ears” are listening

ha! You must think in Russian!

Walk like an American! Talk like an American! Think like a Russian.

Don’t touch Eastwood’s light switch….that’s a beating and slapping….ahhh helll..just a beating

Where did I see him?

Trope: Search parameters. Search every obscure location.

I completed the work 2 hours ago…I’ve just been stalling (Stalin)

Who me? In the pilot suit? nothing.

He’s not going to make it…he made it

Perfect timing…not only did you lose the top secret jet. Your have a high level audience.

Dying in a hanger next to your dead wife…gets to see the American save the day

Dying on a hillside….gets to see the American save the day.

Supposed to be saving fuel…decides to “open it up”

Glad they established the “Black Box” to explain why he is explaining everything while flying…cause he can’t talk to ground control.

Contact Mother 1.

This is his second time seeing “what this baby can do.”

He tired them rockets out. They were like…nope…quiting.

CCCP orange is the new Russian

He’s coming in an awful hurry. He must really know what he is doing…OR HE’S A MORON!

Commence operation “Harmless”

The Russian’s are falling apart. Press Secretary PR nightmare is interfering

Orange balloons! Who’s having the party?

Cliffy…can you steam me a runway?

What you doing? I can’t talk to them. I’m out taking temperature readings or something.

Wave Stewart…Duh…Waaaave

You must think in Russian. Use the force Clint.

FireFox Russian Prime sooked.

A Russian Screaming aaaand roll credits.

Let’s see what these credits can do.

Music was weird

 

 

 

 

 

 

Around The World In 80 Days (2004) : Filmsack – Notes

Around The World In 80 Days (2004)

Intro:

As you guys know…I have a wife for everyday of the week.  But good news! I’ve decided to divorce Tuesday wife for more sacking! Viva La Filmsack. Now if you will excuse me. I have to go urinate in public and re-attach this mans nipples. Don’t worry. I’m going to wash my hands before and after each…because otherwise that would be gross. Lord Salisbury stop pointing at my thinker!

Links:

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0327437

WIKIPEDIA: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Around_the_World_in_80_Days_(2004_film)

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlsgwJUNFNU

JUSTWATCH: https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/around-the-world-in-80-days

Twitter:

Around The World In 80 Days (2004) – Like taking a “Steamer” to London captained by a man with no nipples. Wear the rubber underpants!

Notes:

That China-Man is robbing the bank of England.

The Steam Punk Conehead

Wear the rubber pants

Trope: Agree to a dangerous job to avoid apprehension / Oh you must be the Servant from Servant Co that I was expecting.

Crazy backyard scientist….

Flubber and movies of this like use Steam powered science that is more akin to bubbly soda

Nothing funnier than the ole face punch through a painting where the painting face should be.

I don’t think they know what a Valet is. or perhaps I do not

Ramsey invented the slinky in the late 1800s and was put in the lunatic asylum.

Impregnable vs impenetrable.

As adjectives the difference between impenetrable and impregnable is that impenetrable is not penetrable while impregnable is too strong to be penetrated or impregnable can be capable of being impregnated.

Lord Salisbury

A woman in the Royal Academy!

The Jade Buddha

Little Red Rule Book

I got to admit…I laughed at Passport Two…passepartout

Turns on with a whistle.

Was 50 miles per hour ever really a barrier?

The whisper game

Elderly Norwegians with very tiny feet

Fortnight (2 weeks)

These British have the best teeth of any British I have seen in the late 1800s

Challenge extended. Challenge accepted.

Everyone has a price…or do they.

The wager…no more science…or all the science. Royal Academy of Science head…sounds like a lot of work.

Sitting in my copper tub….thinking about my poor choices.

Keep getting this movie confused with Shanghai Knights

Nothing funnier than seeing an authoritarian figure being drug down the road by a horse/car

Me Brain’s Leaking!

Trope: Asian lady who is good with knives

Ahh…the early years of 3d animation. Nice twist on the map travel interstitials or transitions though

Wait a moment! This is not science…it is art.

Grass is not charcoal.

Man is not a chicken….The Van Gogh loop was very popular in France during the late 1800s

You dream of flying and naked men?

Women are getting pushed out everywhere.

Old French ladies are always trying to take a bite out of Jackie Chan

Old French lady taking a face plant made me laugh.

Brothel humor makes me laugh. No it does not.

Ahh…Jackie Chan…saving sleeping ladies from their own incompetence

The statue is grabbing his trousers! It also has dreams of flying and naked men.

Jackie Chan getting pants is always good humor.

Jackie Chan is the bumbling fool that has skills…the police man is just bumbling

Fogg is smitten with fancy hoes.

A wild Arnold appears.

What a weird choice for Istanbul prince?

I never think when I am naked…

Arnold does not like you pointing at his thinker.

Bathing suits are weird.

A wife for each day of the week. But what if I want to be single on Tuesdays!

They are taking the idea of Fat Cats to the highest degree.

Lord Kelvin is cold.

Cross Dressing is always funny …especially when trying to escape in a crowd. except that it is not and always ends with the hunter being smitten with the prey until they realize…and the pursuit continues

Man of many chains…you do not want to go against…the man of many chains

Sake and Dominos

Perhaps one of the most violent Disney movies since Flubber

Drunk China-man..

kanpai! is that also a Chinese cheer? or just Japanese.

Chinese: Nien Nien nu e. Kong Chien
Chinese: Yung sing (“drink and win”)
Chinese Cantonese: Gom bui (“dry the cup”)
Chinese Mandarin: Gan bei (“dry the cup”)

I went back…she is saying Gom Bui…possibly Gan bei.

Chan, surveying the pre-show chaos, periodically contributed comments in a mishmash of English, Mandarin, and Cantonese, the language of his native Hong Kong. “I’ve forgotten how to speak Cantonese!” he said. In Beijing, where he lives now, Mandarin is spoken. He leaned over to a young Chinese-American visitor nearby.

That is one convenient story-telling dresser..it has pictures and letters and everything to easily explain everything for Fogg…who is an idiot.

Fogg…the last to know.

Screaming China-Man….”Please let me go. I am bored!”

Ding Ding Ding….no no…Ding Dang Dong…Passpourtout

Mr. Grumpy and the leatherettes

Your silly bracelet.

French ladies like to spit.

This is some good fighting.

Jackie Chan has his ass stuck in a cart. Go home to momma.

10 Tigers!

Chair and Ladder assists are always in Jackie Chan fighting.

I really admire the Chinese people. They always seem to put a lot of work in…that’s why I hate to see someone get thrown into a pile of collected work…like when I a Chinese citizen sorts all those skittles by color just to have a bad guy get tossed into it. ugh.

Public Urinater got to do what a public urinater got to do. I think I got some pee pee on me.

an hour and 20 minutes in and act 2 is over…time for act 3

Does this wall ever end? It’s like some kind of great wall. Perhaps you will run into Matt Damon. I wish a I had a valet

I’m such a Rutabaga.

Drug broker.

Alms…for the poor?

A wild Rob Schneider appears…and smells like a dead horse.

I’ll cut you with my wooden spoon! You devil worshipping drawer.

Got to be a record for Cameos in a Filmsack movie.

Where are the Flying Men! The bird men are coming.

A man who lives what he dreams

So did Disney just have a few actors on payroll they needed to use?

haha….was sad when I realized this was not Shanghi Knights…then happy again when Cowboy Owen Wilson showed up…then sad again when Luke Wilson appeared.

Crazy English Wanna Be Cowboy Man….get out the way.

America loves a good wager

Taking a “Steamer” to London.

That was one epic battle.

She is the 11th Tiger and Finally…a lady punches a lady out.

Formula…The Threesome. Man/Woman romance and Third Wheel who has a seperate agenda but is friends with both man and woman.

How many filmsack films have The Statue of Liberty in them?

Did we do Ghostbusters 2?

Captain no nips hasn’t gotten any since the shark attack

Most people would laugh at you. not us. We care about you

Birds is the idea…burn birds.

New nipples for a boat. You had me at the nipples

Those poor sailors…stuck at sea with a captain with no nipples.

As most American Technology of the late 1800s…powered by a china-man

It’s a slinky…fun for Lord Kelvin

Look out for darts in the back

Street people are afraid of bird people….

We didn’t go to New Zealand

I’m a battered Lord

Big fat royal bottom!

She’s behind me isn’t she.

In another timeline…the queen of England hobbles James Caan…and in another she takes a sit in a hot tub with Jack Nicholson.

I am not even going to try to figure out timezones.

 

Thinner (1996) : Filmsack – Notes

Thinner (1996)

Intro:

Oh hey!

When I heard we were doing another Stephen King movie for Filmsack I got pretty excited!

Needless to say I was in a hurry to get home Friday.

So  I stopped by 7-Eleven and picked up some Chicken tenders and grabbed a couple of scratchers.

Then on the way out the door I pulled out a quarter and started scratching!

That’s when I  accidentally bumped into an old Gypsy woman.

She said  for a quarter she could tell me my fortune and pull up her skirt.

I said “I’ll take the fortune grandma, but I’m not interested in seeing your man cave.”

So she snatched my quarter and grabbed me by my skroat & whispered

…”Winner Winner, Chicken Thinner.” …

I was all like! “Holy crap! How did you know that?”

She leaned in real close and whispered “I follow you on twitter white man from internet.”

Turns out she was just a bag lady with broadband.

Links:

IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117894/

WIKIPEDIA: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thinner_(film)

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UC5RtQL6clc

JUSTWATCH: https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/thinner

Twitter:

Thinner (1996) – Like Stephen King poking your mook eyes out & shoving a chicken down down your gullet. Hey is that Reddi-Whip?

Notes:

I feel fat

old cars and Stephen King

caravan of gypsy

I would take Maxx Doogenfield out

tappy tappy court reporter…

Now that she has gone through the change…everything is bea-au-tiful

Eating spaghetti on a boat! Then a bag of chips on the way back to the office..then a jog up the stairs.

Gypsy Fair!

Didn’t your prick ever escape the 6th grade…

A quarter to pull up Kari Whur skirt

The judge thinks Kari Whur is going to give the football team the clap.

Fat guy skinny wife

Digging my grave with a spoon and fork.

Stephen King looks like a pharmacist.

Every time a fat man gets a blow job a gypsy dies.

This Stephen King cameo is more than just a cameo…he’s starring in the damn movie.

The skid marks of Billy were analyzed…it would appear the poop stains were on point.

Sir…thinner…

Billy I don’t think Richard Simmons gives a shit about your call.

See your balls without looking at a mirror.

That old gyp.

What did the gypsy say when he touched the judge… “gross spot”

Every kid loves to hear their dad masticate.

Lynda turned into little orphan annie

Dr. Mikey is a moron.

lizard! evolution in reverse!

you and your family shouldn’t be driving.

What curse did the sheriff get?

Hey Biff…do you take Travelers Checks.

How hard is it to find traveling Gypsys

Those gypsies are all in…made dolls and everything.

What kind of gypsy slingshot is that anyways.

that scene was getting weird…makes sense it was a dream.

Drove his Lincoln into a gas truck. He always wanted to be cremated.

You ever lose weight quickly…that skin be hanging.

She called you “White man from town.” That the best you got?

Why wasn’t you watching…white man from town.

Are Gypsies not white man?

Gypsy Justice

ouch…that is some pretty bad body gore.

What kind of pills does that “almost” doctor have.

Ok..Frank Spurton…you seem like a smart man

The ole…pluck your eyes out and stuff a chicken in your mouth…

He was my mook

Gypsies be packing heat. But can’t drive for shit

The ole…tape up your mouth and pretend like you are the bad guy.

Special agent Stoner.

Gypsy Whurer is an easy mark.

“Acid Bitch”…j/k Soda pop and Baking soda.

How can you smell anything with that thing on your nose.

That is not a good pie…I do not want that pie.

I would instantly offer the curse pie to the old gyp.

Die Clean…White man from town.

Bubbly Blood Pie…Bubbly bubbly

grote…don’t kiss her…

Dumbass…you killed your daughter

Mmmm…deadberry pie

mmm…breakfast pie…White doctor from town…

Commital inabsentia

Like weighing yourself with a box of nilla wafers