Phase IV (1974) (Show Notes)

[usr 5.0] *WARNING : My show notes are unrated. I do not censor my thoughts while making notes. Listen Now

Phase IV (1974)

– FilmSack Edition

Opener:   Look here professor “Ant Bite,” I saw the thing back at the crop circles too but I didn’t want to tell you I saw the thing cause I was afraid it might freak you out…cause…you know…ants… geometry. I mean…sure math is the universal language…but geometry…well…that’s the universal mambo. Mambo…Jambo…you know…just some facts on hand. Speaking of which…you need to go decontaminate that thing. It’s gross. Also, you are one hairy dude…and that is coming from a hairy dude. so…take it for what it’s worth. (In the key of Pink Panther) Dead ant…Dead ant…dead ant

The ants faxed us another math problem that looks suspiciously like an olive…I would say they are either saying you are the pits Professor (snicker)….or they are seeking peace through Martini’s.  Either way….I’m going to go take another decontamination shower with the Farmer’s mentally handicapped granddaughter….you are more than welcome to join us. But now I am hankering for a martini…so if you come…bring drinks.


 

Twitter:    Phase IV (1974) In a word “educate it…” That’s 2 words professor bug bite.

Like a three way with 2 hairy guys in a contamination chamber. Sure…it’s artsy…but gross…grody to the max. RELEASE THE CREEPY CRAWLERS

 

Stuff I Loved:

 

Phase I  – Start the damn movie.

That Spring

It’s a big eye in the sky.

It’s a hole in the ground.

An Englishmen got nervous!

Hubs

Ant meetings. It’s the end of the world!

Is these alien ants!

Green Ass Ant…what you got in your ass.

Living The Ant Life

Biological imbalance…

Hey….we got “Facts on hand!”

Paradise City…That didn’t work out so well did it. It looks like Slash has been here.

Dead birds…birds are always the first to go.

Forget the steady cam…we got random shaky cam.

Diving rod.

Ant vision.

Now who left those cloths out on the line.

Nice chest hair.

The population moved itself off…couldn’t say…the people left?

Who talks like this. Positive contact with the whales.

2nd week we talk about comparing something to a hole in the ground.

Looks like pillars screaming.

Spy camera! So hip…so ster.

Sure is a lot of dirt in the desert…until you get to the corn fields.

It’s best to not give your assistant any help…better to let him learn at his own pace.

Smoking scientist.

Thoughtful look…

Crop Circles!

Ditch Fire…sounds like a good plan Farmer Brown.

Horse Hottie enters.

Stupid City folk.

“They weren’t talking about those ants.”

I got Mildred all chained up.

The farmers wife

The Farmers Daughter is special….she never gets off her horse…just rides around and doesn’t talk to the city folk…then waves at the m as they leave and CAN’T SEE HER!

PHASE II finally…I thought they had forgotten about the phases!

Phase II has a lot more buttons and punch cards.

The singing towers….reminds me of The Dark Crystal

“This is not a controlled experiment.”

Can you hurry up the ants. Yeah…we can blow up their towers…that ought piss ’em off.

“Let see some activity!”

Ants retaliate!

Vectors and shit…

I take my ant signals….heheh

Always with the dust clouds behind the cars.

Damn ants are all over the place!

Make up for time lag…don’t worry about it…

Little squiggle…it’s science…

That means those little mothers talk to one another.

Spray them with mountain dew!

Well shit…looks like we killed the farmer and his wife with our mountain dew…oh well.

Why are their suits sparkly?

Pump…primed…time to suck.

Ahhhh yeah…time for a 3 way “decontamination…” if you know what I mean.

Good thing the Farmers daughter is such a cliche.

No…your horse was shot.

Uh oh…you’ve been bitten.

Ant Drama…Do you have the feels for the Ants?

Knock down the towers eh? well we hadn’t thought of ….oh…we already did that

mmm…ant cheeto.

It’s a rather crude language…duh…it’s ants…dumbass

RELEASE THE CREEPY CRAWLERS! scorpion…check…iguana…check…slither snake…check.

Solar power baby! The ants have solar weapons!

Remember me…from the 3 way?

no parents? Daddy issues.

Powdered eggs…powdered milk…dehydrated bacon…

So angry. Why is he so angry.

In a word “educate it…” That’s 2 words professor bug bite.

Broadcast to the mounds

Sweaty Hairy Chest…now that is hot.

The Kim Kardasian Of Ants.

and the Praying Mantis watches…waiting…nom nom nom….

Watcher ant…making sure the drone gets the job done on those wires…if not

Some ants were harmed in the filming of this movie.

Damn Air Conditioner

Loud screaching sound…how many people left the theater during this movie I wonder…at home I could turn that shit down…TURN OWN FOR WHAT

Dead ants…dead ants

So the ants win…cause their A/C is out anyways.

“Must say…the things I am typing…” love when people do that.

They always say math is the universal language…but what the hell can you communicate with math?

“Alright…I’m gonna need a scene where i get to get really close up on the Farmer’s Granddaughter’s body…under the shirt.”

One warning light to rule them all. Red alert!

Oh dear lord…we are only on Phase III  !! Wait are these the acts of a movie as well?

What message! The math problem you sent them?

I get the effect you are going for…that they ants are devouring the animal…but the ants would not move that fast…they are organised not sped up.

The answer is olive. The answer to my math problem is olive…these ants are idiots.

We have to sacrifice the virgin. You are a virgin right?

That was the last coffee is asshole!

Oh…BTW…the dot is you doctor ant bite.

The ants set a trap is that PHASE IV?

Sarlacc Pit!

Here comes the thumbs up out of the dirt.

We’ve just been keeping the girl to animate her dead carcass?

Bullseye.

 

MY GIRLFRIENDS SHOW NOTES/POEM

 

phase 1…calm and cool to hot and angry. Crazy ant with big green butt scuttles along as if it were drunk, the loner ant bypasses the ant party and makes it way to watch the large lady ant giving birth. Deep darth vadar ant sounds symbolize nothing. Ants on crack, oh no!!!!!Sci fi movie or documentary, not sure? The ants devoure a spider or mouse or something, car speeding to the middle of nowhere, one towel blowing in the wind, WC 357412, men appear, they speak.Hot woman enters RIDING a HORSE,   man is aroused! Kill the ants, spray um, spray um, quicker, nooow. Busy body housewife, shut it!

Phase 2, experiment begins. Sounds and buttons, from manmade to machine wisdom, here we go! Tall poles singing to the ant Gods in the sky, crazy ass boyfriend singing with them. Angering the ants by blowing up the singing poles, asswipes. The last pole falls, movement begins. We must rebuild the poles, kill the horses! Pretty indian woman fights for horse, horse dies, woman loses. Sounds like mice, commanding ants, pretty green alian flourescent lights. Ant invasion, try to run old people off the rode; while at the office……really bad dialogue, get a load of these little mothers! Green goo everywhere, cacti covered in sand. ET is not here but his tent is, spacemen killed the old people, why???Suicide ants, holy hands, evil at its best. Pretty lady faints, lets all take a shower, party time. Ants are not attractrive, not at all but the indian woman who is not an indian is quite attractive but quite young and stupid. The ants killed my horse, let us free them so they can kill me!Where are you going with that honeycomb looking nastiness? Big nasty darth vadar noise making bitch is greedy, gotta poop the pupa. Scorpion appears,snake on the move, ants are calling for back-up, beware. Bright lights, ET gone home.Dirty old man, shy young girl, bowchickabow. Bacon in a cup, yum!Hummmmmmmmmmmm, Take me home, antman with the nasty hand.White noise, sweaty bodies, piercing sounds, going deaf.Ant eating wires, preying mantus attacks. All about that bass goes down, butt juice everywhere. Ginormous ant funeral.Elliot, I’m back. Old man goin crazy, kill the ants, kill the ants…FAIL!!!

Phase 3, Thank goodness, was not sure if we would make it.Cute mouse dies, booooo.These scientists are pretty slow, pretty lady must be sacrificed. A stroll through the ant invested park makes pretty lady a dumb bitch.The queen is waiting, in the hole of darkness man falls. Down the rabbit hole goes number 2, where is Alice? There she is, in the sand, time to get busy…

Phase 4 begins….fade out, no camping for me this summer

 

 

 

 

 

 

Arachnophobia (1990) (Show Notes)

[usr 5.0] *WARNING : My show notes are unrated. I do not censor my thoughts while making notes. Listen Now

Arachnophobia (1990)

– FilmSack Edition

Opener:  I have good news and bad news…would you like to hear them in asynchronous order? Alright, It’s 1990 and the Miami Dolphins are heading to the playoffs. Also, I touched a frog in the Amazon and now I have a moldy pulsating sack. I’m not sure where the good news is in all of that.

Tapooey.

“What you doing? Nothing…just sorting my bucket of butterflies”

Amazon, Helicopter, Scientist, Fever, Sweat, Guides, Spanish, 2000 foot drop, Manley, Dead, Good News Bad News, Smoking in the Amazon, Insect drop, Prepare yourselves gentlemen, Pictures of what?
			

 

Twitter:    Arachnophobia (1990) Like walking into a spider web and running a banana out when you meant to run a banana split.

Like a spider in your shoe at first it is all squishy…then zap. Your taking a dirt nap

Like getting a skroat exam by  Harry and Lloyd

It’s is supposed to be a banana out…but it was more like a banana split.

 

Stuff I Loved:

It’s that kid on a bike with a basket.

Penny Marshall’s husband? Dad?

Arachno…I can’t spell that.

Kozak!

Dolphins fan…got to be 1990

DELBERT! John Goodman.

What a nerd…map

Been held up with a fever…how about not coming here.

Tapooey.

We small game hunters don’t climb…WE FLY!

Arch Arana…flute music

Your guide does not have to be friendly.

Don’t touch the frogs…got it.

Trope: Getting there by Helicopter establishing shots.

Just what the world needs…more bugs.

Football is Manley’s Specialty

C’mon…2 thousand foot drop! C’mon

Trope: weird temperature changes.

That’s what I do when I run into a spider web…drop to the ground and pftttllll….pftttllll

Trope: if you lay any clothes down in the rain forest for 5 seconds it will be covered by a myriad of exotic insects.

I have never thrown a firecracker into a pond.

Smoke ’em out!

How is blowing smoke up a tree like throwing a firecracker into a pond?

Prepare yourselves gentlemen. How about this….step back about 20 feet so you aren’t rained on by insects.

Don’t just sit there Manley…do something…take some pics.

Manley is the opposite of Manley…he is…a screaming man girl.

Nikkormat

How many jars did you guys bring?

Shaky leaves…must be a big spider.

Spider ride-along.

This scientist is always amazed

“What you doing? Nothing…just sorting my butterfly collection.

Typical spider…going for the Manley.

Convulse Manley…Convulse

Professor…professor…professor.

Manley had the Fever for the flavor of some Pringles.

That spider is calculative…Hide…kill…hide…grab a ride with dead Manley…

Small town Harmonica.

White picket fences.

Head End…on a coffin.

Trope: Eating a sandwich when handling dead bodies. The sandwich is your go-to food during autopsies.

South American spiders.

Man…that spider has all the luck

Trope: Moving from the city to the country.

Jeff Daniel’s no hand covering sneezing.

“Respect is fine…but I have always wanted to be feared.”

“the old coot passes me the torch at 12 sharp.”

Spider loving going on in the barn.

“Got to feed the meter…partner.”

Fax Machine. We loved the fax machine during the early 90s

Jeff Daniels has no luck.

Between his ass and a hole in the ground. That would be a horrible mistake to make.

These spiders were well documented by photos.

Those spider webs in the barn are outrageous.

Can we go play with Bunny? Beachwood

Wanna blow up a bullfrog?!

First memory from 2…in a crib…

Don’t let Hollywood Pictures name fool you…This was a Disney Company.

Jump scares make us laugh. Comedy Horror is the best.

Deviled Eggs…

Actually we are Baptist.

Mimi from Drew Carey.

Manley was a scientist…or photographer…down in Venezuela

Venezuela is right next to Columbia…where O lives.

Is this town in California? Seems like a “southern” town.

The old Widow lady…don’t die! We love you. You are our only friend.

Man…that is some rotten wood.

My wine cellar is rotten…that’s what she said.

Androgynous Spider…nature will find a way.

Smug sheriff.

Here comes the comedy. John Goodman. Aka King Ralff

Nothing says cool like a blend of harmonica, piano and saxophone with a little high hat.

Tear out bad wood…put in good wood.

’74 Miller Lite with a misprint.

Doc is here…he wants to hear you cough.

That is supposed to be a banana out…it was more like a banana split.

Go wash out your garbage mouth.

What are the motives for these spiders…most of the people they kill is just for the lulz.

Big city methods.

“Some damn thing bit me.”

Ugly old man feet. Don’t need to see that.

Sheriff Lloyd talking to Daniels like in Dumb and Dumber (1994)…would have been better with Jim Carey

Yo. Doctor Death.

Venezuela’s Canaima National Park…name of the California town?

Where did all the crickets go?

Bad luck to kill a spider in a new house?

I reiterate…morticians love to casually eat while doing their job.

Boa ties are cool.

Eating a box of opened cereal from a dead woman’s house…probably not a great idea.

Smartest spiders ever.

Spider boobs.

This movie gives me the willys.

Bugs-b-Gone

Talk…talk…talk…there’s no spider here.

Spritz him from here to kingdom come.

A problem as easy to fix as a boot.

3 poison sacks

Dead mouse.

No sex organs…makes ’em drones. Like highly organized insects.

This movie has 2 instances of Good/News bad news moments.

Brian Mc.Nam.Ma.rama

A lot of vampire references….draining their victims…creates drones…you can only stop them by killing the “queen/original.”

Wheel of Fortune…Same Name…of course there is a T.

DELBERT!

Dark Warm..Moist…unlike the pit where they originally found the spider.

Pulsating like the size of a softball. That’s what she said.

Man…spider crawling on his face…this was 1990…was that computer generated? Trick photography? Or did he let a spider crawl on his face.

A web would indicate an arachnid presence.

Now that is what I am talking about…bug spray acid.

Oh My God…they got the professor.

Family Ties!

These spiders have impeccable timing.

So much for your investment.

It’s a pulsating sack!

Nest sounds like the safest place to be.

That’s your basic egg sack.

Not the chateau

Do not recommend. Making your own flamethrower from aerosol spray can.

That jump scare in the Air duct…about threw my computer.

Burning spider chase me.

Don’t Squish me song over the credits…woooh woooh. It’s all about spiders!

The book: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1486803.Arachnophobia

The Video Game http://www.mobygames.com/game/arachnophobia/screenshots

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Firm (1993) (Show Notes)

 

 

[usr 5.0]

*WARNING : My show notes are unrated. I do not censor my thoughts while making notes.

Listen Now

The Firm (1993)

– FilmSack Edition

 

 

 

Opener:  Abbey, wait.. I haven’t even whispered you the best part yet! …I signed us up for a Dianetics class! Oh great…now she’s running away. Hold on, what do I care. I’m great at running. Hey everybody! Look at me! I’m running! Hey, do you guys hear that….it sounds like someone is playing a piano. I mean like for 2 and a half hours. Like it’s the only instrument in our film arsenal.

Tom Cruise, Lawyer, Firm, Mitch, Abby, Harvard, Law, Run, 

Twitter:    The Firm (1993) Taking the bar exam would be more entertaining than this movie… and shorter.

Stuff I Loved:

I’m with the mob. I don’t hang phones up…I just lay the phone down and hope the other person hangs up and doesn’t listen in on my private conversation.

Piano…piano…PIANO…piano…

Does the Bar Exam have multiple choice

Steal drum…steal drum….STEAL DRUM…drum

You are not a doctor….

It’s easy to tear clothes in movies.

What kind of “Travel Agency?” that offers sex for money.

She sure is a talker….she wants to feel rich too!

You made me feel safe..

Wonder if he got discounts on his vacations

No…Ray that would not be funny. Do your crooks try fucking you up the ass?

Nice prison 5 o’clock shadow and greased hair

Gentlemen’s Quartley…what is that!

Nothing is real until I tell Abbey…Sasquatch!

Disowned his brother!

Hot water curler. The lights go out when you don’t put water in it.

Mr. Lomax will see you now.

She was 17…looked 25

Pretty sure you are not suppose to pat your secretary on the arse.

Something I would never spray paint on an overpass

Busey has respiratory illness or is it his teeth that I am hearing?

That is one big bottle of Ivory Soap on the top of that fridge.

For the last time woman! I am not watching Star Search and ordering pizza.

Pretty good shot. Pierced his ear.

Really Tony…how are we suppose to ask him questions when he is dead.

This is the second movie in a row with a movie attached under a desk. if your job is that dangerous…maybe you should do something else.

Special Agent FBI!

Not used to seeing him bald.

How many meetings take place in front of the Reflecting pool at the Washington Monument.

Tom plays the quintessential clueless rube in this movie.

He has been watching too many movies. The Mob don’t  PIANO!!…blow up cars…

at an hour in…the piano playing starts getting intense.

Forget about home driver…take me to the firm.

It must be hot in Memphis.

Cruise has a bit of sweat on him at all times.

Oh it’s getting real. He’s telling Abbey…to some sweet…sweet…love making music.

The run! Chasing Abbey….come back! I got to tell you more about joining the church!

Stupid smart copiers. Too bad they don’t have smart phones. Now we are entering a time when not only cell phones could change everything in the movie…now smart phones could have changed everything.

Fried egg sandwich from the front street deli…mmmm…$2.65 for

The recipe is in the bag.

Hey…the Front Street Deli has egg sandwiches and ice cold beer….

Eeek! The albino! Or as I like to call him …White guy with a mullet who could stand to hit the tanning bed.

Wonder if Brimley has a candy bar in that briefcase…diabetes!

Photos…Do not bend the porno

Oral and what not. PIANO!

Just gonna put my porno in my jacket.

Look…flipping kid…I ain’t in the mood.  oh alright…one set of flips then.

“Hey…you guys got matching suitcases! Weird…”

“The people forget” guy…explaining stuff for us law noobs.

Happy piano!

Dude what monitors your house…live…that sounds like a loser job.

Holly Hunter is perfect in this role.

Who is in charge of post-it’s for this movie.

How about no one give anyone marital advice.

Do you think the “can’t dive and fly in the same 24 hours” will play a part in the movie? They sure are hammering us over the head with it.

Holly Hunter knows how to have “the shakes”

this piano music is motivating.

Hey mitch…Haymitch

Sure is a lot of Kayman Islands in this movie. What does it mean!

We were promised Elvis…and we got Elvis.

Fax Machines….spewing out important documents in movies that either go unnoticed or roll away.

Beepers! Beepers!

Would someone please get Ed Harris a map of Louisiana

“Staff was chosen for it’s timing.”

Who sleeps with Gene Hackman…I mean really.

My big dumb Hackman Hands are too fat and dumb to open these buttons.

The classic…”Cheaters” setup…Sure you are faithful. But would you be faithful if a supermodel tried to get with you.

Greasy Cruise.

Love “be cool on the phone” moments. Run Cruise run! All bad plans end with…run…unless you are tom cruise…in which case…a big truck of fluff will be outside any window you jump from.

Harrison would have made an awesome Lex Luther.

Learning on the lamb. or…taking a tour while hiding from the bad guys. Wonder if you ever get sidetracked by all the awesome tour information.

Hey…ZZ top is following you off the plane.

This movie employs a lot of planes.

Hey…it’s the typical mafia guys.

no no no…don’t tell him it’s abbey!

Albino on an L.

If it is just as fast to get from one L to the other by running. Just run.

Piano…Piano…Piano

If hiding was a job.  Mitch would be fired. Bad luck…good luck…

Well…lookie who thinks he is an acrobat

So sweaty.

Hey…it’s the silhouette of a lawyer! choot him!

I am going to beat you with the law!!aka…my briefcase!

Well…that was convenient how they died.

Dealing with the mafia…

I don’t think the FBI likes you.

So much eye makeup. “I’m tired.”

You know what this movie needs. More piano.

Closing voice over…they got their life back!